"Whatever it is, the second day is always the worst. If you can make it past the second day, you’re gonna be okay."
— (via flirting-with-psychology)
- My period: Now commencing the monthly purge. For the next five days, there will be cramps that make you feel like WW3 in your uterus, random bouts of bitchiness and sadness, bloating, and unexplained horniness. We thank you for your participation.
- Me: NOOOO! No!! Please! I won't make it!
- My period: Just remember all the good the purge does.
Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.
Ten rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her."
— (via housewifeswag)
Seriously, if you act like your art is terrible, people will assume it’s terrible. You’ll never be able to make money off it because if you think it’s worthless, why would someone else think it’s worthwhile?
Alternate punchline: “Elitist art industry never lets people in.”
Most people agree that dying while being asleep is the best way to die. Peaceful, not signs of torture nor pain. My grandma used to say angels carry them, the ones who are dying while being asleep, to heaven. But sometimes angels can be clumsy and drop them by accident.
Remember the time you felt like falling in your sleep and suddenly woke up?